I hate most holidays and Mother’s Day is another one I hate. Oh get your mom something oh if you don’t she will be sad and cry oh buy commercialize everything…fuck off. I’m not buying my mom shit.

First of all, any day that is Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Grandparents Day, Christmas or shit is just some bullshit designed to get you to buy stuff. Holidays aren’t really holidays so much as they are buying triggers. Black Friday, for example. What a load of shit. I hate it.

Mother’s Day is probably my least favorite, though, because women seem to be a sap for these commercialized impulses more than anyone else. They feed on getting some meaningless card and a gift. Who the fuck wants a card that someone else wrote? If all you do is sign a card that has a bunch of writing someone else put into it, you’re thoughtless and callous.

Who wants chocolates, too? I hate chocolates. They’re never good chocolates like a Hershey bar or a Butterfinger. They’re something sick like tooth-hurting cream mixed with slime, bull cum and about 87,000 times more sugar than it should have, with a single atom-layer of chocolate over it. Or hey, maybe we get a chocolate covered cherry, which could be my least favorite candy of all time.

Anyway, stop falling into this stupid sappy shit and for nothing’s sake, stop shoving it in everyone else’s faces. Take some Benedryl and go to sleep.