Review: The Omen (1976)

download

The Omen sucked. It is about a fictional character, Satan, taking control of a young boy and becoming THE antiChrist and having super powers. It’s directed by Richard Donner. Gregory Peck is in it, which was a name that probably bothered some older Christians because it sounded like pecker and they can’t stop thinking of sex. An omen occurs at the beginning of this review, as my stomach rumbles, indicating that my large intestine will need to be emptied before this review is over.

A baby is born. A nun fucks with it. It cries. My cat freaks out and wakes up from about a 2 hour nap to search for the baby. I assume he would have killed it with the “Take Its Breath” ability that has +15 attack on babies. So this couple has a baby and moves into a dirt hole mansion. A couple of flies land on my tea and ruin it. I name them Dicklick and Suckfuck. Hate those two.

I guess the family is all cheery. Until a lady kills herself at a party because of a mind control Rottweiler. Named SLICK.

A bunch of omens happen and people die. The shit gets dumb because the kid has 666 as a birthmark lol. In English. He has a similar reaction to going to church as I did as a child.

The nanny is a fucking psychopath. I would have put her in her place quickly. She tries to kill the dad and he has to kill her which she needs.

The film portrays Jesus and the Bible as real, which it isn’t, but also lets loving Jeesus allow these things to happen. A wild priest screams that this father needs to accept Christ and kill the kid. After the nanny incident he tries but gets shot by George Zimmerman.

It’s a dumb fuck movie to scare people that believe in a magical god. I used to but then I studied the bible and recognized it’s hundreds of contradictions and it killed the legitimacy of this stuff for me. Then you look at science and reality and see how especially unrealistic it ever was. Movies like this just look dumb as fuck then. 2/10

Advertisements

Say something! Comment here

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s