Star Trek Renegades is a Kickstarter-funded movie that is set in the Star Trek Voyager universe (without concern to the new JJ Abrams movies). It’s about a bunch of stuff. It is basically like a fan-film that somehow managed to get a bunch of the cast members to take part in it. It is truly a mixed-bag and by that, I mean it’s shitty unless you’re a big Trekkie, then it is great.

If you liked Voyager, this is as close to a Voyager movie as you’re going to see – mixed with a dose of the guy who did Star Trek Generations and thus passed no existing litmus test for quality. Yes, Walter Koenig as Chekov, an admiral now and at least 450, is in this as the chief of security. He’s ancient, so I’m not really sure what kind of work he can do. Maybe he’s an old person that just aims his finger at everyone young and suspicious, listening to that loud racket called “rock AND roll.”

Let us discuss the far-fetched plot. Chekov uncovers a plan where a super(ugly) villain, played by the Candyman guy I’m pretty sure, is beating people up and then using 1960s special effects to destroy their planet. Now, despite Starfleet being war-hardened and beaten-up by the various space-aliens that have tried to destroy earth, they refuse to even look into this new villain until he attacks the planet they’re actually on. No effort was put into making the Federation Council’s complacency seem plausible. Tuvok shows up and puts together his team of Suicide Squad-like aliens, ranging from Icheb (my least favorite Voyager character. Zero charisma or interesting traits) to uh…Kahn’s daughter. After a bunch of shit, they kick the ugly alien guy’s ass.

That brings me to this point: There isn’t any consistent quality-level to this movie. While the movie has a surprisingly recognizable cast (if you follow Trek), it has a really ignorant plot. It has wildly good-looking space battles – then we will see some shit that wouldn’t have cut it in the ORIGINAL Star Trek when a planet gets destroyed. It is all over the place. I took the time to create a chart to help you prepare for this.

I can’t, under my insanely-high quality standards, tell you this is a good movie. It isn’t. If you sit down to watch it with your cool friends, they’ll hate you.

However, if you were a HUGE and I mean HUGE fan of Star Trek (you know who Admiral Paris is, you know who Louis Zimmerman is, etc…) then this is a treat for you. It has enough of the cast to be canon, even if it isn’t really. It feels like it is in that universe. I guess that is all that really matters.

Well, that and sex.