WWF Superstars – January 13, 1990

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Superstars this week is January 13, 1990. I was 4. This also doesn’t have the show open and begins mid-show…

Andre the Giant is in a Post Honeycomb commercial on my copy of the show. His teeth make me hungry. Hacksaw faces a jobber as Vince and Jesse discuss the Royal Rumble. Big Bossman pops up and says hey Hacksaw I’ll fight you at the Rumble bla bla. Ventura hates Duggan and says he’s an idiot. Vince says some of Hacksaw’s family works at NASA.

Sean Mooney is in the event center to hype a show in the Boston Garden tonight! Macho Man delivers a promo against Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

Ted Dibease is up next and beats a jobber up. Jake Roberts shows up to do a promo in the two-box graphic. Royal Rumble teases galore.

Brother Love is next. I hated him as a kid but now, I appreciate how it was making fun of televangelists. Or just pastors, who are all liars or idiots. One or the other. All. Anyway, Ultimate Warrior comes out and is a moron like usual. Pastor Love even teases the Warrior confronting Hulk Hogan in the Rumble. Since that confrontation actually happened, one might think that was scripted and wrestling was fake.

Mene Gene Okerlund is in the control room with a tease of the Royal Rumble. The graphics are postage-stamp resolution.

Most of the pictures look stupid! Several deliver promos. Rick Rude looks like a porn star. Bad News Brown has the biggest nipples. Hogan shows up with his shit. I wonder if he hated Bad News Brown, along with the rest of the black race back then? That’s what he said in private…

Rick The Model Martel comes out to face a jobber. Jesse comments that the Model could be the next Jesse Ventura! That prediction didn’t quite pan out.

Once more, Sean Mooney is in the event center. He’s telling us about that Boston Garden card tonight, with a King match – Macho Man vs Hacksaw Duggan. Also, Ultimate Warrior defends his IC title against Dino Bravo. Warrior shows up and I am surprised he didn’t die in the interview from the bulging veins and intense shouting.

Vince teases next week’s episode and folks, that’s our show. And folks, I am itching.

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