As I wrote in an earlier article, I kind of like Evil Within. It is a good horror game and, when you’re on one of the normal or easy difficulties, it isn’t so bad. But crank it up to Nightmare (or the BS AKUMA mode) and it sucks more dick than Tim Cook.

• Everything takes way too long to do, down to pulling a handle where he sits for a second before doing. You have a psychopath after you trying to murder you – so you’re going to breath a few times before turning a handle?
• The game has the worst camera angles ever.
• Sometimes you’ll run to a fence and tap x endlessly while nothing at all occurs. You won’t jump over it. Other times, you instantly jump over it.
• Zombies can throw kicks and pivot mid air to adjust their angles.
• To throw anything, the guy does the most retarded heavy-throw ever and lunges forward several feet (getting you caught)
• Your character has no “about face” option. To turn around, even when you pull directly down on the joystick, your character often will run in a circle to face the opposite direction.
• You have the momentum of a wrecking ball.
• Dumb upgrades. You have to upgrade things to make your character like a normal human. Firing speed on a pistol starts out like a bad nightmare. You begin with the option to run a foot. It is one of those games that starts your stats out way too low so you have to upgrade them just to be normal. You run more than 3 steps and you’re hunched over like you ran a marathon. You can fire the handgun once per two seconds. Most cops (like in Ferguson, Missouri, where they just murder citizens) can fire 10 times per second.
• Melee attacks are beyond ineffective. He throws the stupidest heavy throw possible. It’s useless unless you were hoping to die.
• Parkinson’s Zombies
• Camera movement controls are excessively slow.
• You get stuck so often, both because of awful camera angles and snags in the environment.
• The prompt to burn bodies takes about 4 times as long to appear as it should. The burning bodies action takes too long to execute too.
• The game tells you tapping X while out of breath will speed the process up but this is a complete lie.
• It takes too long to aim/pull your gun up. Almost a half a second between pressing it and it happening
• It takes so long to swing your axe or melee, enemies usually grab you out of it
• Bullets don’t stop zombies at all. They’ll keep running. Unrealistic
• Enemies are already swinging at you when you load.
• The camera angles on this game suck dick.
• There’s a glitch where the game will animate the reload but won’t reload and you’ll have to do it again.
• Takes a second to aim from the time you press it.
• Press X to climb, pick up stuff and look at objects = C.F.
• Shitty frame rate.