Welcome to another review of Goosebumps – the television show that revolutionized nothing in the 90s. It did, however, provide a few cheap scares for kids which was fun, at the time. Don’t get me wrong – I love pointing out the dumb elements…but I wouldn’t bother if I didn’t like it, deep down (around the colon).

We begin with a child actually doing a decent job acting. A ghost appears behind him while we go to break. She vanished and his dad is a foot behind him holding obviously empty boxes. He knock on his head and says “Hello, anybody home?” Seen BTTF 2 recently?

So the kid has an imagination, big deal. His parents act like it matters. So he keeps hearing Moonlight Sonata and the old bitch ghost says stay away!! Second Goosebumps in a row that we’ve heard that.

A camera with no speakers speaks to the mom and kid. Some old clown appears and seems pedophiliac. He teaches piano lessons to kids. The kid ends up running into a Doctor Who quality (low) robot. A “floor sweeper.”

The old nutty ghost freaks him out again. The parents think he saw “Bonkers” the cat.

Dr. Shriek, a robot clearly, wants the kids hands. But it’s actually the old tinkerer that wants them and then, he acts like a total idiot crying and demonstrating no skill in the career of thespian. Finally we see the old tinkerer being tortured by that ghost in a clearly green-screened shot. You can see the screen reflecting off the pianos shine.