I hate George Clooney. I can’t stand him. He can’t act. He doesn’t try either.

First, Clooney isn’t good looking. I don’t know where that bullshit has come from but he’s no more special than your average guy. Cloon has sunken sleepless eyes and a smirk I want to smack.

Why is he always smirking? What’s there to smirk about motherfucker? You couldn’t play Batman right. You know, the character that stoically exists in a mask. You fucked that up Clowny.

He dated Stacy Keibler, whom everyone mentions like she’s special. She’s hot, of course, but again – a grit. She fucked David Flair and Test. She’s not my favorite Keibler, either.

Clooney is so muted and boring in his roles. He just utters the lines without any life or interest. Meh another movie, phone it in.

I’m taking a shit right now and the smell is one I associate with Clooney. I bet he takes GROSS shits. You just know they’re those nasty little clam strip turds that everyone is extra cautious not to leave behind after a flush for a future occupant to see and begin wondering who shit like that. I bet when George Clooney wipes his ass, he smells his finger. He probably sniffs his socks too. Quit doing that shit, George! It’s grody.