When someone pisses me off and wants to argue or insult me, I nail them with so much, they’re blown away. One of my favorite things is to call someone by a fake name. Instead of Britney, you can call her Gritney. Or instead of Duke call him Puke. I made a list muthafuckaaaas
Aaron – Boring
Adam – Aw Damn.
Ashley – Assley, Trashley
Amanda – A man, duh
Barry – Barely
Ben – Bent, Bun
Bob – Slob, Knob, Bobe
Brandon – Brando (Three decades and that’s all I got here)
Britney – Gritney, Skank
Bud – Dud
Carl – Loser for being named Carl
Carey – Hairy
Cage – Steel Cage, Johnny Cage, Cage Fighting, Bird Cage, you’ll be in a fight by this point.
Canopy – I have never encountered anyone with this name.
Cecil – Call him a Final Fantasy 4 mother fucker
Dan – Dance, Dank, Taint Face
Donny – Oaf. Honey.
Eric – Just say EEEEEric, really annoying.
Earl – Duke of Earl, Earl Grey, Pearl the Landlord, Earl Robert Eaton
Frank – Hot Dog, Frank the Tank, Wiener Schnitzel.
Greg – Grag, Freg, Sleg, Meg. Anything, Greg is a bad name.
Grant – Loser
Harry – Just laugh at him.
Harold – How Old? Always respect Harold Ramis though.
Isaac – I suck, I sack.
James – Lames.
Jake – Flake
Kyle – Call him a Kyle of Shit.
King – Queen, obviously. 1st grade bullying there.
Larry – Hairy, Lazy, Rapist
Lyle – Lyle of Shit also works. You can also call him Pyle. Or Lie-Ley
Mark – I’ve never met a Mark worth a shit. Call them literally the worst thing in your mind at the moment.
Manny – Nanny
Max – Weirdo, Saxs (as in Ball Saxs)
Nancy – Schmancy, Fish Farts, Nanny
Ned – Ned the Dead, Need
Orangelo – Just leave it alone.
Paul – Call him Pull. Then say Puss.
Peter – Call him Peter the Winker. Dick, Cock Guy, Etc.
Q – John De Lancie
Randy – Dandy. Randy (with an Austin Powers voice), Do I Make you Randy
Rachel – Crap
Sam – Sham, Shame, Samus
Sunny – Whore
Ted – cunt
Unis – They’ve had it bad off as it is. Sometimes spelled Euenice. If you’re prepared to have a suicide on your conscious, you CAN call them “Anus”
Vince – Satanic Mastermind Fuck, Wince
Whitney – Shitney
Xavier – Professor X, Wheels (if they’re crippled)
Yalanda – Big mouthed garbage can.
Zach – Crack